Write Stuff and Round two: RESULTS!

Feb 18, 201019 min read

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DeviantDead

Published: Feb 18, 2010

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Good Evening again, Listeners in the Dark! This is DJ Voice broadcasting from the Commercial District. Take heed, survivors! Whatever is creating these horrific, undead horrors has spread to The City's Zoo! The enraged and rotting beasts from around the globe have somehow managed to break free- this humble reporter is currently attempting to avoid the blood-vomiting hyenas at the base of this tree, so excuse the hush - hopefully they'll loose interest soon. Watch out, survivors! It seems now even the zebras have become fearsome predators! Continue north, but stay armed and vigilant!

It's that time again, listeners! Time to reveal our winners for the Round Two Events! We received a whopping thirty some entries into Write Stuff, all packed with delicious zombie insanity, and our competitors in Round Two have out done themselves once again! The sheer amount of talent you guys put forth is breath taking- we couldn't do any of this without all of you!

RUNNERS UP
Though there are no prizes for our runners up, we figure a feature and some recognition might be a consolation. So, in no particular order, here are a few entries that really stood out:

fancylances’s what matters
Shadow-Warrior-Nami’s Hello, Annie
Spurfy-Sora’s Undead American Gothic

OTHERS OF NOTE
We’d also like to take a moment to recognize three entries that took risks. Though they didn’t make the final cut, we’d be doing them a disservice if we didn’t take note of what they did!

lethe-gray’s Zombies, written in haiku;
SteewpidZombie’s Ballad of the Final Moment, written in rhyming verse;
Mausi9’s Bollo, written from the perspective of a future zombanimal.

WINNER:

SHIVERING Part One, Part Two, Part Three
While this entry certainly has its flaws (it could definitely use some trimming and a good edit) Shivering was the most engrossing entry into this competition. I started reading this incredulously but as the story went on I got more and more pulled into its series of beautiful images and set pieces – the half-burned house, the devastated classrooms, the rows upon rows of teeth, the recurring line that they were drawing between butterflies and zombies. That’s not to mention the emotional intensity that is prevalent throughout the piece. The author has a real knack for bringing the reader into the nitty-gritty feelings of their characters, which was particularly effective in this piece.

What really sold it, however, were the payoffs. Cherkov said that if you have a gun on stage in the first act it needs to go off by act three, and this piece had several Cherkov guns that all went off by the end. It’s the mark of a well constructed story, and it keeps your readers interested the whole way through. I’m not going to spoil any of them for potential readers, but let’s just say a chilling coda could throw little Alman right into the center of the action.

Like I said, Shivering wasn’t the best written entry – never write in the passive voice if you can help it! Always leave time for an edit! – it was certainly the most emotionally gripping, the best structured, and the most downright horrifying. And that is what put Myrmadon over the top. Congrats!

And now, without further Ado, the winners of this round's comic contest:

8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D… 8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D… 8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D… 8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D… 8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D… 8bitloser.deviantart.com/art/D…
Critique
There was a considerable drop in quality between this round and last, but under the conditions of a move that's understandable. Even so, while we enjoyed what we saw, the judges were left wanting more, but not in a cliffhanger way. More conflict, more explanations for how they met up with Pierre, more story development. Too many things are introduced abruptly and not explained. Where did a bear come from? It would be more funny if it wasn't so random. Also, visual clarity, even when it's sketchy, characters should always be recognizable and consistent. Overall, we're very glad you managed to finish under your duress.

mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D… mahlstrom.deviantart.com/art/D…
Critique
Mahlstrom's comic was a seat-gripping romp! While the quality of refinement has dropped since last round, he knew what corners should be cut and cut them successfully and consistently to tell the best story. Judges could always tell what was going on, and WHIT RODE THE ZOMBIRAFFE. Mahl has a way of introducing new characters and devices that really paint a larger picture of more happening in Major City than just the survivors we are following, and he runs with it! We cannot wait to see what the future holds for pierre and his new party of survivors- we hope they all stay alive and kicking for much much longer! In the future, try managing your time to fit in at least some mid tone shading to help with clarity, but you really know how to push the storytelling!

WINNER: Mahlstrom

serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi… serain.deviantart.com/art/Devi…
Critique
Serain always presents a wonderfully spooky atmosphere filled with unknowing and tension, but a few things were unclear. Was Birdie's observations of Ned in the begining supposed to be not a correct diagnosis? Remember to always double and triple up your research, especially when it comes to sciency topics like this. If this was a deliberate character development moment, in that Birdie himself does not know what he is talking about and is lead on by his insanity, it did not read as such as things went along. If this was the intention, in the future clarifying the differences between Birdie's reality and the true reality to the reader is important to make that distinction. Also, we are shown a lot of white backgrounds with some doors and tables in the background. Setting can set a mood, and with too much over simplification it can mute it. A good comic should make sense just by looking at the pictures, the story and events clear visually. Many judges had to read and reread the entry to understand what happened, and only with the clarification of an artist's comment did the ending come together. Serain is a beautiful and talented artist, but the entry felt as though not enough went into it, even with cut corners, to really meet up to the artist's usual standards.

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Critique
Auryn's comic was wonderfully crafted, consistent and exciting. Her handle of the Zombie Animals prompt was imaginative and terrifying, and her care with showing Izzy's character change with the weight of Kezzy's death on her heart showed wonderfully. There were points towards the end where the panels became very bland and there was too much white- when the epic conclusion unfolds (no spoilers to those who haven't read!) part of the shock was lost when that blank frame was compared to so many other bare frames. A lesson I learned once in a Japanese Film Forum class that translates well into other media is the concept of "Silence and Sound"- even graphically, a busy frame vs. an empty frame carries a certain emotion, in the future see what experimentation with this can do! This was perhaps the tightest match that had all of the judges on the fence.

sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… delya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… delya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… delya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… delya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… delya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D… sephiramy.deviantart.com/art/D…
Critique
While some competitors have choosen to scoop up their unkilled survivor opponents and carry on their story themselves, Delya and Sephiramy are the first to take the approach DeviantDead uniquely allows our survivors- the option of collaboration. Their tag-team approach was a great way to flow into this, in the next round we're glad to hear you intend on collaborating in a way that makes a more uniform product. Sephiramy- remember to vary your camera angles! Most of the times we see characters from the front. Don't be afraid to show the back of the head and explore new angles, a face doesn't have to be always visible! Delya, watch your colors and shading even when working quickly. Especially in night scenes, the color/shading felt monotonous- add a tad more accents, don't let light lineart be lost in darkness!

Winner:
COLLABORATION.
Sephiramy takes the role of "Team Leader", for having taken the brunt of the comic. You are now a team in future rounds, but it is up to Sephiramy to make sure the comic gets done!

FORFEIT

manic-pixie.deviantart.com/art… flipsidered.deviantart.com/art… flipsidered.deviantart.com/art…
Critique
While it's tragic Manic must step down from DD, it's understandable that IRL Obligations come first, and we're excited that her partner flipsidered is able to take up the reigns and keep Syndey and Mickey in the running! Her lineart is strong and fluid, characters wonderfully expressive, and while we know the second half of the round was done in a hurry after last minute finding out about Manic's situation, at least adding grey and black to add more definition to the scenes would help a ton. In the future also try to vary your shot types more, don't be afraid of pulling the camera back and filling it with details that aren't figures! The setting and enviornment, as has been said in other crits, is also a character who might not have any lines, but has a load to tell, especially when such care is given to the characters in them. We look forward to seeing what you have in store for us in the future! Additionally: Mickey's new pet = win.

Winner: MICKEY AND SYDNEY
flipsidered takes over as artist

FORFEIT

buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro… buuya.deviantart.com/art/DD-Ro…
Critique

Buuya is a wonderful storyteller, really getting to the hearts of not only her characters but her opponents' as well. She managed to present a side of Bob that hadn't been as readily obvious in Whitetrashpalace and Lazysmirk's round that was wonderfully insightful while still keeping her main character Simon in the limelight. We're left praying he can one day see Saby again, hoping they can make some sort of amends. As for the second survivor group growing in the background, we hope they make it North as well! While your method for backgrounds is nicely time-cutting, even when using and editing stock images don't be afraid to add more detail and depth. Objects as landmarks in the panel makes it easier to understanding who is where, don't just use them to indicate what place it is.

Winner: Buuya

hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD… hoisanna.deviantart.com/art/DD…
Critique
Hoisanna has perhaps improved the most during her run in the tourney. Her round two is leaps and bounds more refined than her round one or audition, which is always note worth! Her story starts off very slowly, but picks up at the end with a lot of excitement but it felt imbalanced to some judges- watch your structure (setup-confrontation-resolution, confrontation should be the biggest part), a lot of the long monotonous bits that can be dropped should have been dropped to speed things along for the reader. We were left with a bit of the Lord of The Rings styled "Three hours of wandering around." which can take a bit of the punch out of a punchline. A lot of this time could have been spent showing the characters interacting more instead of summarizing it in monologue which would have built more of a connection to Renard before his untimely demise. As for backgrounds, while it was wonderful you really pushed the limit, be sure to make backgrounds less equally blurry- more details and sharpness on the front and less details in the back will give picture more depth. Also treat a background as a setting with landmarks for easier understanding who is going/standing where, not random detailed three-dimensional space. Singling out some objects here and there will help at least "fake" it.

Congrats on improving!

selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar… selenedragon.deviantart.com/ar…
Critique:
Selene once again starts off strong, but looses quality towards the end. Try to budget your time to make a consistent product, even if it's not as refined overall as you would like! Like Hoisanna, the setup was a bit too long and some of the humor felt out of place. Don't rely on meme jokes or too-obvious cameos to please the crowds, your writing is strong enough without them! Try to keep things only when it will help you to tell the story. If you upload an unfinished page, please try to keep the lineart more toned down- we understand blue-lines, but when digitally drawing it's easy to turn unfinished blue lines into a black sketch as easy as a preserve transparency button, and will be a lot less distracting for readers. Also on the note of art, be careful of the Sameface Monster! Mind your face/head shapes, every character should be recognizable out of the rest of characters. Some judges were confused and thought it was Mike when it was Julien. Even Tom Boys still have feminine features! Overall, it was the heart wrenching and horrific ending that settled it for most judges, finding the event (no spoilers if you haven't read it!) disturbing and poignant- your writing is strong, but don't overwhelm the moment with a page full of quotes! We understand you have a theme of literature references in your rounds, but be sure not to over do it, many judges felt that took away from an otherwise powerful moment that could have been spent quietly showing Renard's reaction instead.

WINNER: Synicalsel

penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C… penril.deviantart.com/art/DD-C…
Critique:
Penril. Penril Penril Penril. Somehow you managed a happy ending. How did you do that? Hopefully it will be the last happy ending for a while. Penril out does himself always with a professional grade, exciting and heart-wrenching story always leaving us clawing for the next page. He really has a style of his own, but the japanese-anime roots to it show most through a habit of same-face. Try varying up the jaw and bone structure of the characters you draw! Your figure drawing is strong, but characterization of the face and features is something you can still push! Now push it to the limit!

smilexstranger.deviantart.com/… smilexstranger.deviantart.com/… FORFEIT (Incomplete)

WINNER: Penril

That wraps up Round Two! We will now have a short break between rounds for our survivors to rest and regather their troupes! We'll check in in a week and see where everyone's at before announcing the matchups for ROUND THREE. Stay safe, stay armed, and stay vigilant, survivors!

This is DJ Voice, Signing out.